Unequal Yoke Part III.

"We closed Paul, we closed the discussion about getting married. Let’s go back to the unequal yoke, if you’re willing to come with me. This is in 2 Corinthians 6. To be honest all the 2 Corinthians is about how Paul caused some confusions and problems in Corinthia because of his first letter, and after that he tries to solve the misunderstanding. Obviously lot of people was converted, lot of things had changed, but unresolved, hurtful things are stayed, and he tries to solve them. So he’s putting into the right contest every misunderstanding which he caused in the letters of 1 Corinthians. Starting from the first chapter of 2 Corinthians till the ending, he speaks about the believer’s rights in this world and their place within the spiritual- and this world.

In the first chapter he immediately starts with referring back to the previous chapters. „When therefore I was thus minded, did I decide lightly? Or the things which I purpose, do I purpose according to the flesh, that with me there should be “yea, yea” and “nay, nay”? But as God is true, our word toward you was not “yea” and “nay.” For the Son of God, Jesus Christ, who was preached among you by us, even by me and Silvanus and Timothy, was not “yea” and “nay,” but in Him was “yea.” For all the promises of God in Him are “yea”; and in Him “amen” unto the glory of God by us.” (2 Cor 1:17-20) This is also similar to the unequal yoke. I will tell some examples for „yes yes” - „no no”, in case someone doesn't know the meaning of it! The Urim and Thummim casting lots worked like that, it was two cards, stones or something which had got a „Yes” and „No” side on it. For instance when Saul is asking God in different ways, he is not responding with prophecy, neither with dream vision, nor by Urim and Thummim. It could only happen if one of the stone says „Yes” and the others says „No”. Paul says that „we are not like that, therefore we are yes-yes.”

Consequently we are representing the whole. Essentially he says to the Corinthians that „Sorry guys for being so harsh with you before, but I haven’t got an other option, but to speak straight forward, sincerely and to represent God’s message in 100 per cent. So my speech was a clear yes, namely ’yes-yes’ and I wasn't unsure, namely ’yes-no’ ”. He is continuing this reasoning in the 5th chapter when he’s saying; „And He died for all, so that all those who live might live no longer to and for themselves, but to and for Him Who died and was raised again for their sake. Consequently, from now on we estimate and regard no one from a human point of view. Even though we once did estimate Christ from a human viewpoint and as a man, yet now we know Him no longer [in terms of the flesh]. Therefore if any person is [ingrafted] in Christ (the Messiah) he is a new creation (a new creature altogether); the old [previous moral and spiritual condition] has passed away. Behold, the fresh and new has come!”(2Cor 5:15-17)

So in the 6th chapter comes the practical conclusion from all of this. He says that „We then, working together with God,” co-workers „make our request to you not to take the grace of God to no purpose.” So it has to be possible, if Paul wrote it down, that the man „take upon the yoke”, but it didn't work out for some reason. This is the situation, which I mentioned at the beginning, „that this and that’s the problem, one thing or another are not working, I don’t know what to do now, Help me”. My ’favorite’ question is; ’Shall I stay with him/her or shall I divorce?’. Of course, I will 'definitely' tell you the right answer! Ouch!! Well, if I tell to him/her, then what? Otherwise I don’t like to tell people what to do. I try not to let myself into the position where I have to tell them what is the right thing to do. When it occurs I usually tell them that, ’alright, I will help, but Will I be the one who has to live together with him/her, or you?’. It’s better, if you don’t answer to these kind of questions at all.

Old Paul says, „to no purpose”, don’t let it happen, to take the grace of God with no intention. Now, he set out a couple of things in verse 3; „Giving no cause for trouble in anything, so that no one may be able to say anything against our work; But in everything making it clear that we are the servants of God, in quiet strength”. In an inner „quiet strength”. It is again the same, which I mentioned before, that I am IN the yoke and THAT gives me an inner, insistent, stable peace. And yes, it could be irritating, but to have this yoke is WORTH, no matter what. Therefore to move out from the yoke is foolishness.

Then he continues, after the specification of all sorts of difficulties which can happen in a Christian’s life, with the 11th verse saying; „Our mouth is open to you, O Corinthians, our heart is wide. It is not our feelings to you which are narrow, but yours to us.” That’s what he says to the Corinthians; „O ye Corinthians, our mouth is open unto you, our heart is enlarged. Ye are not straitened in us, but ye are straitened in your own bowels”. In simple words the problem is not in our/my, but in your ’device’. He says; „Now to give me back payment of the same sort (I am talking as to my children), let your hearts be wide open to me.” Well, after a trust ’trial’ and ’half –confidence’ losing, he’s trying to regain their trust."

Unequal Yoke Part II.

"So let’s talk about the 'usual' interpretation of the unequal yoke. We all know that it means that; „we mustn't give our daughters to non-believers” so in general as a classical version it means -let's say- I’m a catholic.  Then I mustn't let my daughter to marry a protestant, because it will cause unequal yoke. If I am an Adventist then I shouldn't let her to marry a Pentecostal. Someone asked me with a really serious question considering the unequal yoke, what if an Adventist marries a baptist, ’cause when their children will be bigger, when shall they go to church, on Saturdays or on Sundays? No, well, but you understand it, these are real, serious problems.

However, I will be a little cheeky and I will put this into the right place. Instead of telling you about the unequal yoke, I will read out from 1 Corinthians 7. The real thing which Paul says about the marriage, because the 2 Corinthians 6, where there is the scripture about the unequal yoke, in reality it’s not about marriage. Now I’ll put 1 Corinthians 7:29-39 on the table with a quite provocative Amplified translation. „I mean, brethren, the appointed time has been winding down and it has grown very short. From now on, let even those who have wives be as if they had none, And those who weep and mourn as though they were not weeping and mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they did not possess anything, And those who deal with this world [overusing the enjoyments of this life] as though they were not absorbed by it and as if they had no dealings with it. For the outward form of this world (the present world order) is passing away. My desire is to have you free from all anxiety and distressing care. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord; But the married man is anxious about worldly matters—how he may please his wife— And he is drawn in diverging directions [his interests are divided and he is distracted from his devotion to God]. And the unmarried woman or girl is concerned and anxious about the matters of the Lord, how to be wholly separated and set apart in body and spirit; but the married woman has her cares [centered] in earthly affairs—how she may please her husband.” 

Dear old Paul. This cannot be really challenged. „Now I say this for your own welfare and profit, not to put [a halter of] restraint upon you, but to promote what is seemly and in good order and to secure your undistracted and undivided devotion to the Lord.”  Enchanting! „But if any man thinks that he is not acting properly toward and in regard to his virgin [that he is preparing disgrace for her or incurring reproach], in case she is passing the bloom of her youth.” That’s how it’s written down within the Amplified version! „and if there is need for it, let him do what to him seems right; he does not sin; let them marry. But whoever is firmly established in his heart [strong in mind and purpose], not being forced by necessity but having control over his own will and desire, and has resolved this in his heart to keep his own virginity, he is doing well. So also then, he who gives his virgin (his daughter) in marriage does well, and he [the father] who does not give in marriage does better. A wife is bound to her husband by law as long as he lives. If the husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she will, only in the Lord.” That’s all which is about the unequal yoke. This unequal yoke theory is based on this tiny little sentence. It’s obvious that everybody tries to find a suitable match, someone who thinks like the same way, but this inequality means something totally different. I would like to go through this, to show you how does it works in the reality. I would like to read Paul’s postscript from the scriptures. „But in my opinion [a widow] is happier if she does not remarry. And also I think I have the Spirit of God.”

Unfortunately Paul was not the first priest who lived in celibacy, but there is an unpleasant fact. He was part of the Sanhedrin when they voted about the fate of Stephen. Well regrettably only married men were able to be part of the Sanhedrin. Therefore it’s possible that it’s a very likeable thing that Paul said that it’s better for the man to be unmarried in all his life. No, instead of that he says that if the husband or wife dies, it’s better to stay alone, just like I do. That’s what Paul said."

Unequal Yoke Part I.

The author of this post is Mr Tamas Mike, a Hungarian preacher. With his permission the ReThinkers blogger's translated it into English. This preaching is available to listen through the H.E.V. church's homepage, but of course just in Hungarian language.

"Hi Everybody,

I would like to start with a musical concept, then we will start the preaching. The word symphony, how the Greek use it, συμφωνία /sumphonia/, means resonance, jingle, cooperation. This is my favorite spiritual experience, confirmation. You know when Paul says that "As the scripture say, 'The facts of every case must be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses'." Therefore an unmentioned, (but he's in the corner of my eyes), person has 'pushed' me into one particular topic for tonight’s preaching. =)

One huge argument, brain-storming started to form on the subject of marriage, divorce, unequal yoke and things like that on a forum, which is unfortunately not ours, but I try to guide the people to that direction. So in this context now, the Holy Spirit brought forth a topic which is many time spoken, and so many times misunderstood. What good is that the confirmation in the subject has happened, the symphony.

Now I will start with the fundamental verse of the „Yoke”  : „At that time” it’s in Matthew 11 (Mat 11:25-30) „At that time Jesus began to say, I thank You, Father, Lord of heaven and earth [and I acknowledge openly and joyfully to Your honor], that You have hidden these things from the wise and clever and learned, and revealed them to babies [to the childish, untaught, and unskilled]. Yes, Father, [I praise You that] such was Your gracious will and good pleasure. All things have been entrusted and delivered to Me by My Father; and no one fully knows and accurately understands the Son except the Father, and no one fully knows and accurately understands the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son deliberately wills to make Him known. Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. [I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.]”

As you can see „ All things have been entrusted and delivered to Me by My Father…No one fully knows the Son except the Father…No one fully knows the Father except the Son, and anyone to whom the Son deliberately wills”. And from that comes „ Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. [I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.]” And how does it continues? Here comes the „Yoke”: „ Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me,” I just love this translation! „ for I am gentle and humble in heart,” It’s not a behavior, it comes from inside! „for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is wholesome (useful, good—not harsh, hard, sharp, or pressing, but comfortable, gracious, and pleasant), and My burden is light and easy to be borne.” I love it so much it’s so heart warming and so many times it goes opposite to the reality.

Cause usually I don’t meet with people when everything goes well in their life. Thanks to God, Yesterday we had got an opportunity to relocate Kristy in Pecs, and that way we could meet up with Emoke and with her husband Szabi, who are well and they are happy and everything is fine with them. And it was so good to be „needless”, but usually that’s not the case. Instead the situation is that I always met with people when there’s a problem in their life. And here Jesus says „Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is wholesome, and My burden is light and easy to be borne.” And therefore the Christians are coming, that this and that’s the problem, one thing or another are not working, I don’t know what to do now, Help me! and then it looks like that this Verse is just not true. No, the Verse IS true. The problem is that we know everything perfectly in theory, and we 'use it', and yes „we take on the Yoke” and everything is 'amazing, and cool'.

And it’s TRUE in certain areas of our life, in OTHER PARTS it’s not working. Therefore you can see some really 'cute' things, like that „piece of facebook”: Miss Lavinia Goldsmith likes „I love Jesus” and 4 other pages. The 4 other pages are: „Band Depression ”, „No music, no life”, „If a man says maybe then you’re f… my friend” and the forth is „The Bible”. This effectively shows in one picture the situation when people are coming to me, and they are telling me that they've got a problem in their life, and believe me that the problem is not with the Yoke, rather with that we've got two different lives.

I try not to have two, but I can calmly put myself into this as well. For everyone it’s a learning curve until you get there in the everyday life and at the workplace and even in whatever situation to be the same. Well in recently I am getting better with it. For example once, my manager got angry and then later he said that „Alright I know that from your perspective” mainly as a psychologist , „It looks totally different, so please tell me what do you think about it”. So sometimes I get into a situation, where somebody says this kind of stuff, but after he reconsiders, and asks for the outside perspective from where everything looks totally different.

How was it? I love it so much : „for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”. This inner peace radiates out, but it can be irritating. Look at that, Peter says in 1 Peter 4:4 „They think it strange that you don’t plunge with them into the same flood of dissoluteness, and so they heap insults on you.” So from one hand we are emitting some really exotic feelings, but on the other hand it can be really irritating for some people. It’s when they’re asking „Why are you so calm?” I got it so many times, „Why are you not angry?”. I always say that I've got something inside, which separates me from all of this, and no matter what’ll happen, I’ll be safe."

What is Love?!?

Nowadays the description for love is just when you fill the emotions rise inside, the flesh and all the desires. But this is not real Love. These are spontaneous healthy symptoms that you are a human being. These are more the physical elements of Love.

To love someone and to be loved from your beloved one of course you need to have these physical attractions.

But your relationship and your marriage won't live for long IF it is based only on the physical and sexual attraction.

Love means SO MUCH MORE than these. Love means, you CARE for your partner MORE than you care for yourself. It means you are LESS SELFISH. You are ABLE TO COMPROMISE.  Love is when you can PUT someone's need BEFORE YOURS.

Love is when you are FAITHFUL to your loved one, no matter how hard it is sometimes. Love is when you love someone WITHOUT ANY EXPECTATION.

You can love someone more easily, If you find your inner peace. If YOU yourself are OK with YOURSELF, and you have reconciled with your background, with your past. If you find your balance in your everyday life. When you find peace in God!

"Let Love and Faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart." /Proverbs 3:3/

Word's of a Catholic Priest

Destructive emotion or love?!

"Imagine, that there is a destructive emotion inside you. You have the feeling that a great injustice had been made against you. What is your desire now? 'To get revenge! S/He must die who caused me this!' Don't stop here! Alright, you wish for them to brake their neck. But is there another desire underneath this surface? 'Of course I have! I am wishing them to brake their necks because then I could have the releasing feeling that there is justice in the World!' So then your inner desire is to make sure there is justice in this World! If you are sure now, let's have a look, is there another inner desire inside you? 'If I think about it, yes there is! Because what is good if there is justice in the World, but there is none who loves me?!' Then, to be loved, is a stronger inner desire! Everyone must try this out once, because you will have a surprising discovery: Our most awful emotions will turn from negative into positive! There isn't a destructive emotion, if you go after it, which would have not turned into positive from negative after self-examination! It happens always! This is a miracle!! It turns out that in the inner inside of the heart of a human being, there isn't ever negative desires, destructive, terrible passions - there is always wonderfully beautiful, positive desires!! In everyone's heart. This is spellbinding, isn't it?!" /Pal Feri/

Fakebook

Less or more

You won't be less or more if you are not receiving enough 'likes' on facebook. It's not your real face you show there and you just rarely find your closest friends. Friends who are there for you, when you totally feel like crap.  They encouraging you, 'Hey you my friend, don't you dare give up! I've been there and I've been through but I'm here to help you to bear!

This society tries to force you and me into this materialistic impersonal World. Where you depend on whether the people like you, but mostly they just pretend they are. And until you won't brake out from your bubble world, you will waste your real deal. No offense but you should live in the real world, and make the best out from what you have! And don't say, 'yes maybe on one day, I will be ready', because man you actually living your life NOW, you have to deal with your life and your decisions, to make responsibilities and to make them right. 

To make the right steps will be just harder. It always will appear that you just scroll it in front of you. The truth is that you just have to let it go and to be brave to say 'Hey it was enough'! 

To say NO is perhaps scares you, but trust me it's worth to do.

To find yourself and find the peace beyond will not come from facebook you know.

After every ending there is a beginning

            Thoughts of existence

To help those people whom God brought into your life. To give hope. To be a light. Not to give up. Even though its hard sometimes. Just trust and rely on God. To forgive to those who are not giving you the job. To back out of your past. To say goodbye to your proud. You don't have to be the same as your parents were. To let it go. To forgive to those who you think are better, valuable, more beautiful than you. To have healthy thoughts. To trust in God. Don't let the enemy to turn your thoughts inside out. To be sympathizer. Don't brood over nothingness but instead start to look at the path in front of you. To look into his and her eyes and to understand what comes through them. To be patient. To learn to listen. Not just acting you care for someone, but be there and do it. To listen them, comfort them and love them. To follow the footprints of Christ.

"15 My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one.20 “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, 21 that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. 22 I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— 23 I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me." /John 17(NIV)/"

"12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." /Colossians 3(NIV)/"

And for closing

From A to B

         Deep Inside

Dissatisfied, because you want to do something. When you do something, you feel that it's not enough at all, that you should do more. Not good enough. Not high quality. Not enough at all. You walk up and down, you want more. You want to move forward. And when it happens you do not appreciate the things you have achieved, you start to concentrate again on your future. 'I wish I could be there, where I want to be!' You longing for it. Your life is filled with this longing. When you don't have a relationship, you desire to have one. When you are in a relationship, after a while, you long for more. You want to quit. You want something new. You hope that the new will be better. You are longing for adrenalin which comes with the new. You are longing for that new taste in your mouth. You are longing for a fulfillment, but instead you feel like you are not moving at all.

Impatient, want to get everything right away. You don't appreciate what you  already have. You act like a kid who goes crazy for a toy in the next two minutes and then throws it away, because you have had enough of it. You are bored. You really want to do something interesting and unique. You want some adventure, some pleasure. You miss something and can't figure out what it is exactly. Always, when you get something, you are disappointed, because you realize that it's not what you have been longing for. You cannot explain yourself, you don't know what  you are longing for. You start to work on this, on that, but you never finish with any of them. Because you get bored very quickly. You aren't really a persistent person. You want to be recognized.  You aren't willing to do any work, which doesn't produce a quick and spectacular result. You are more than happy to work for others as long as it helps you to move forward. When you succeed, you can't let yourself to be happy because you don't feel like it was your success. You don't like to take the lead. If you do take the lead, then you try to escape from the problems, and you rather quit.

Wistfulness. Something incomprehensible and unfathomable keeps yawning in your soul. You are unable to fill it up. You feel like the more you do, the emptier you become. Constant hunger. Rumbling spiritual-starving, uncomfortable feeling. You don't know how to fill it up. You just pass by the entity. You just eat some instant food, but you don't like it at all. You don't have patience and time to make a quality food and then to eat it with a delight. You are dissatisfied with your situation. You are indignant, because you feel like that everyone else lives better though they don't deserve it, but you.

Your character of your religion is filled with yearning prayers. Pretentious, few thanksgiving, a lot of requests. You don't accept what God gives to you. You long for other things, what you didn't get and you feel like God didn't listen to your prayers. You are crying. You don't understand what is wrong.

With difficulty you realize, that you should remain silent for a bit. To listen without expectations. Dwell on the stories. To enjoy the taste of a delicious food. To rejoice in the sunshine and the stars. Indulge yourself into Bible reading. For a while not to do something, just to listen and feel. To mourn yourself. To clear yourself and to see those who are longing for a hug. With difficulty but you realize, that you can be satisfied, because you will get it. That you can be patient, because you will receive it. And you can be inactive, because you are not alone in the service. You can be just yourself.

Are you valuable at all?!?

Youth and self-respect: the hesitant waving of your over- and underestimation. Like a roller coaster, sometimes incredible cliffs, sometimes incredible bumps - maybe that's how I can shortly describe how I feel sometimes. I know, If you would say this out loud, immediately would come two older (and of course wiser) men and they would enlighten you, how worthy you are or you aren't. You will obviously think that the best is, If you listen to what they say, because they should know it better than you. Maybe it had happened with you already, that you listened to them, and after a while you just realized, that they already categorized you in a higher or lower level on the self-respecting scale. You have been naive, you believed that you are a genius, meanwhile other peoples' opinion prevented you from becoming mature. Maybe they said you are not gifted, you believed them and that made you inadequate. Who knows how valuable you are for real?!?

Let's have our next step. I'm quite sure that you have noticed it as well, that everyone has a different opinion about you. If you are a controverted person, just like me, then possibly it has already happened that some "Master Yoda" in your life saw you in different ways. So then you are trying to compare yourself, and at the end, you totally mess up, 'cause you are trying to meet the requirements. 'A bruised reed will he not break, and a dimly burning wick will he not quench', and something like this crosses your mind, while you don't really know who you are anymore. Mostly a bruised reed and dimly burning wick. You are worthless.

'Cause how could be something worthy of note, when no one says an opinion clearly and arguably about it, that 'YES, You are Mr Smith Something, are you valuable at all?!' Please someone name me on my name, and tell me who I am!

"Have no fear, for I have taken up your cause; naming you by your name, I have made you mine. When you go through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they will not go over you: when you go through fire, you will not be burned; and the flame will have no power over you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your saviour; I have given Egypt as a price for you, Ethiopia and Seba for you. Because of your value in my eyes, you have been honoured, and loved by me; so I will give men for you, and peoples for your life." /Isaiah 43.1-4/"

Thoughts inspired by Shavuot

The Light and the Shadow. The closer you are to the light, the smaller is the the shadow. What is the light and what is the shadow represents? Arrogance vs  Modesty and Humbleness. What happens, when you leave out God from your life? And what happens if you live your life with God? Arrogance is when you forget where you come from, you forget that you are not a god. Arrogance is when you trust in yourself more, without any respect. It is, when you cover yourself, when you build a protective wall around yourself. When you think you are The Boss.

"While he was still speaking these words, a voice called down from heaven, 'O King Nebuchadnezzar, this message is for you! You are no longer ruler of this kingdom. You will be live in the fields with the wild animals, and you will eat grass like a cow. Seven periods of time will pass while you live this way, until you learn that the Most High rules over the kingdoms of the world and gives them to anyone he chooses. That very same hour the prophecy was fulfilled, and Nebuchadnezzar was driven from human society. He ate grass like a cow, and he was drenched with the dew of heaven. He lived this way until his hair was as long as eagles' feathers and his nails were like birds' claws. 
After this time had passed, I, Nebuchadnezzar, looked up to heaven. My sanity returned, and I praised and worshiped the Most High and honored the one who lives forever. 
His rule is everlasting, and his kingdom is eternal. All the people of the earth are nothing compared to him. He has the power to do as he pleases among the angels of the heaven and with those who live on earth. No one can stop him or challenge him, saying, 'What do you mean by doing these things?' 
When my sanity returned to me, so did my honor and glory and kingdom. My advisers and officers sought me out, and I was reestablished as head of my kingdom, with even greater honor than before. Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and glorify and honor the King of heaven. All his acts are just and true, and he is able to humble those who are proud."/Daniel 4,31-37/

You should have a purpose for your life. When does it go to the right direction?! When you are closer to the light. When you are closer to God.

The man with the two pockets. In one side he had a note which said, 'The world was created for me', and the other side he had a note which said, 'I am but dust and ashes'. Whenever he felt so Great, and Unbelievable Strong, he pulled out the one, which said, 'I am but dust and ashes'. And when he felt down, he pulled out the other note, saying 'The world was created for me'. The balance is very important.

At last, King David is a really good example. He was a small guy, and youngest from his brothers. But he had a relationship with the Living God! That's why, even when he was in bad or good situation, he relayed on God, and God always was with him.

The freedom to disagree

What do I want to say to you?! I want to say I don't agree with you. I have freedom to disagree. I have freedom to live my own life, to make my own decisions the way I want to do them. I have a heart, I have my senses. I feel if something is good, and I feel if something is not. Don't tell me that there isn't a thing like Right or Wrong.

So what is it then, when you are unbelievable happy or when your heart is so broken. How do you explain it? Where is it comes from then?

You are in your twenties. Everyone telling you every kind of advice. Be someone who you are not. That's what they try to tell you. Because if you are not turning to be someone, or you are not gonna start doing things, then you are weird, and strange. Go with the flow, just after the crowd.

And If you don't have a self confidence, you don't trust in yourself. You are afraid to grab your own understanding about things and rely on it.
You feel like you are incapable to make decisions. But there is one fact. YOU are the one person who should make decisions about yourself and then YOU gonna be responsible for them.

Possibility

They are giving you a plastic fork but not for keeping it later. You use it once, and then you have to throw out to the garbage. You neither have to keep the paper- nor the plastic bag, there is just too much of them, so it's almost impossible to put all of them in to the garbage. You bought a no-name jeans, you wear it for a month, then you throw it out, because it frayed don't mention where (...). You bought a PC, but the day after Tomorrow a new game gonna be trendy, and your computer gonna be out of date, you have to buy a new one then. The manikins in the case, jewelry and clothes, the electronic tools are shouting to you from behind the cases that: throw away, throw away your old things, buy a new one, a cool one, BE TRENDY. Go with the flow! New phone every half a year, new observations: YOU MUST TRY IT, wow, that's freakin unbelievable, I don't know buddy, where have you been?! - let's try THIS one. C'mon you can't be that odd.

You have an unbelievable luxury home, with a huge park. You have the best boss EVER. A true friend, you can share everything with him. You are always keep in touch, often talk long hours during the night, sitting in the garden. You have a WONDERFUL husband/wife. You love your job, you feel like you are valuable and they are appreciating your work. Everything is super cool. Really. Everything is just PERFECT.

Then you meet someone guileful like a snake -You feel better not trusting him/her- and he/she whispers: All right, but ... Are you sure everything is THAT cool?