Are you valuable at all?!?

Youth and self-respect: the hesitant waving of your over- and underestimation. Like a roller coaster, sometimes incredible cliffs, sometimes incredible bumps - maybe that's how I can shortly describe how I feel sometimes. I know, If you would say this out loud, immediately would come two older (and of course wiser) men and they would enlighten you, how worthy you are or you aren't. You will obviously think that the best is, If you listen to what they say, because they should know it better than you. Maybe it had happened with you already, that you listened to them, and after a while you just realized, that they already categorized you in a higher or lower level on the self-respecting scale. You have been naive, you believed that you are a genius, meanwhile other peoples' opinion prevented you from becoming mature. Maybe they said you are not gifted, you believed them and that made you inadequate. Who knows how valuable you are for real?!?

Let's have our next step. I'm quite sure that you have noticed it as well, that everyone has a different opinion about you. If you are a controverted person, just like me, then possibly it has already happened that some "Master Yoda" in your life saw you in different ways. So then you are trying to compare yourself, and at the end, you totally mess up, 'cause you are trying to meet the requirements. 'A bruised reed will he not break, and a dimly burning wick will he not quench', and something like this crosses your mind, while you don't really know who you are anymore. Mostly a bruised reed and dimly burning wick. You are worthless.

'Cause how could be something worthy of note, when no one says an opinion clearly and arguably about it, that 'YES, You are Mr Smith Something, are you valuable at all?!' Please someone name me on my name, and tell me who I am!

"Have no fear, for I have taken up your cause; naming you by your name, I have made you mine. When you go through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they will not go over you: when you go through fire, you will not be burned; and the flame will have no power over you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your saviour; I have given Egypt as a price for you, Ethiopia and Seba for you. Because of your value in my eyes, you have been honoured, and loved by me; so I will give men for you, and peoples for your life." /Isaiah 43.1-4/"

Thoughts inspired by Shavuot

The Light and the Shadow. The closer you are to the light, the smaller is the the shadow. What is the light and what is the shadow represents? Arrogance vs  Modesty and Humbleness. What happens, when you leave out God from your life? And what happens if you live your life with God? Arrogance is when you forget where you come from, you forget that you are not a god. Arrogance is when you trust in yourself more, without any respect. It is, when you cover yourself, when you build a protective wall around yourself. When you think you are The Boss.

"While he was still speaking these words, a voice called down from heaven, 'O King Nebuchadnezzar, this message is for you! You are no longer ruler of this kingdom. You will be live in the fields with the wild animals, and you will eat grass like a cow. Seven periods of time will pass while you live this way, until you learn that the Most High rules over the kingdoms of the world and gives them to anyone he chooses. That very same hour the prophecy was fulfilled, and Nebuchadnezzar was driven from human society. He ate grass like a cow, and he was drenched with the dew of heaven. He lived this way until his hair was as long as eagles' feathers and his nails were like birds' claws. 
After this time had passed, I, Nebuchadnezzar, looked up to heaven. My sanity returned, and I praised and worshiped the Most High and honored the one who lives forever. 
His rule is everlasting, and his kingdom is eternal. All the people of the earth are nothing compared to him. He has the power to do as he pleases among the angels of the heaven and with those who live on earth. No one can stop him or challenge him, saying, 'What do you mean by doing these things?' 
When my sanity returned to me, so did my honor and glory and kingdom. My advisers and officers sought me out, and I was reestablished as head of my kingdom, with even greater honor than before. Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and glorify and honor the King of heaven. All his acts are just and true, and he is able to humble those who are proud."/Daniel 4,31-37/

You should have a purpose for your life. When does it go to the right direction?! When you are closer to the light. When you are closer to God.

The man with the two pockets. In one side he had a note which said, 'The world was created for me', and the other side he had a note which said, 'I am but dust and ashes'. Whenever he felt so Great, and Unbelievable Strong, he pulled out the one, which said, 'I am but dust and ashes'. And when he felt down, he pulled out the other note, saying 'The world was created for me'. The balance is very important.

At last, King David is a really good example. He was a small guy, and youngest from his brothers. But he had a relationship with the Living God! That's why, even when he was in bad or good situation, he relayed on God, and God always was with him.

Encouraging

Little bon-bons from the Bible

"Unfailing love and faithfulness cover sin; evil is avoided by fear of the Lord."

"When the king smiles, there is life; his favor refreshes like a gentle rain. How much better to get wisdom than gold, and understanding than silver!"

"Those who listen to instruction will prosper; those who trust the Lord will be happy."

"O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my every thought when far away. You chart the path ahead of me and tell me where to stop and rest. Every moment you know where I am. You know what I am going to say even before I say it Lord. You both precede and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head."

"Unfailing love and truth have met together. Righteousness and peace have kissed! Truth springs up from the earth, and righteousness smiles down from heaven. Yes, the Lord pours down his blessings. Our land will yield its bountiful crops. Righteousness goes as a herald before him, preparing the way for his steps."

"Kings will stand speechless in his presence. For they will see what they had not previously been told about; they will understand what they had not heard about."

"Come to me with your ears wide open. Listen, for the life of your soul is at stake. I am ready to to make everlasting covenant with you. I will give you all the mercies and unfailing love that I promised to David."

"Seek the Lord while you can find him. Call on him now while he is near."

"I am overwhelmed with joy in the Lord my God! For he has dressed me with the clothing of salvation and draped me in a robe of righteousness. I am like a bridegroom in his wedding suit or a bride with her jewels."

The freedom to disagree

What do I want to say to you?! I want to say I don't agree with you. I have freedom to disagree. I have freedom to live my own life, to make my own decisions the way I want to do them. I have a heart, I have my senses. I feel if something is good, and I feel if something is not. Don't tell me that there isn't a thing like Right or Wrong.

So what is it then, when you are unbelievable happy or when your heart is so broken. How do you explain it? Where is it comes from then?

You are in your twenties. Everyone telling you every kind of advice. Be someone who you are not. That's what they try to tell you. Because if you are not turning to be someone, or you are not gonna start doing things, then you are weird, and strange. Go with the flow, just after the crowd.

And If you don't have a self confidence, you don't trust in yourself. You are afraid to grab your own understanding about things and rely on it.
You feel like you are incapable to make decisions. But there is one fact. YOU are the one person who should make decisions about yourself and then YOU gonna be responsible for them.

Inspiration

I would rather say, Don't be selfish and don't be too egocentric neither. It's not healthy and it won't lead you to the right direction. I was listening a great lecture tonight. It was mostly about how you live your life, how you react on your life situation, how is your relationship with God. If you have one.

Imagine you are a parent. You grew up in a religious family. Doesn't matter if you are Christian, or Jewish, or Muslim, or Buddhist or whatever. The thing is you've been relying and trusting in God. And bum, one huge explosion happens in your perfect life,  the doctors says that your first born child have a disease, and he won't be healthy, and it's not sure at all, that he gonna live more then one or two years. So how would you react?!

The lecturer was talking about her personal example. The way she acted. She was from a religious family, who grew up surrounded with truly believers, and she herself was a truly believer as well. So what was her first reaction? I think everyone know the answer. It was, 'Why God, why? What did I do wrong?' Yep.... Nothing.

 She decided not praying anymore, and she was asking a loads of questions. And here comes the inspiration, which is another point of view. What helped her, was when she realized how important is the GIVING. A Relationship, where you are NOT SELFISH, and it's not about you. She realized how important is really to GIVE THANKS to God. Because it's not evident, that you are healthy, or your friends, parents, children gonna be healthy. And she was talking about her other younger children, how they are living their life with it. They know the fact, that they are privileged, because they can talk, they can move and walk and they can see it everyday.

She said another example. Just imagine there is two 10 years old boy. One of them used to live all his 10 years on the streets of Manhattan. He had to steal his breakfast, his lunch and supper everyday. He slept on the streets. And then one day, a woman and man, a parents from nowhere stops near him, and offers to him, 'Hey, do you want to live with us? We have a room, and we can give you food, and we would love to be your parents.' And the 10 years old boy says, sure, why not, but inside he doesn't believe it at all. They arriving to the new home, and they are giving him lunch. What is he doing?! He is eating very fast, and hiding some food to his pocket. Because, who knows If I will get any food for supper. And the dinner, when they give them supper. He do the same. And still doesn't believe that it's true and it's just happened with him. So after like some days even some weeks he realizes, that it's actually true, and he is safe, he still gonna feel, that he is in a privileged situation, and he gonna be thankful.
But here comes the other 10 years old boy. Who grew up in a middle class family. He got everything he wanted. And one morning, there is no Choco Cereals. He starts to scream like, 'Mom, how is that, there is no Choco cereals, when you exactly know, that this is my favorite breakfast. I can't believe, this is the only thing I want in the morning, and you are not able to give me any?!?!?'
Do you feel the difference between the two 10 years old boy?! :)

And you know what, often we, me as well, just forgot about to say THANKS GOD, that I am privileged, and I am healthy, I have a place to sleep, I have food to eat, I have friends and family etc.

So all together it was a great inspiration to hear the story. Because she found her way back through this situation to God. She realized, it's not a punishment, it's just another way to learn about giving. Giving love and time and be a difference in this running and selfish world.

The Gospel according to Dobby

Dobby was the slave of the family of a servant of the evil He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. He couldn't say no to his masters, and if he did something which wasn't exactly according to his masters wish, they punished him, or Dobby punished himself. Dobby heard about the Son, who is warm-hearted and kind, so even though his Lords ordered him to do bad things which stops the Son, he couldn't do because the Boy was completely different, then his masters. Dobby was always dreaming about becoming free one day - Because the house elves are slaves as you know - but his release couldn't happen until his masters would give him a small piece of clothing. One day the Son achieved with a trick, that Dobby got a sock from his evil master. From that day on Dobby is a free elf. He started to work, he was offered a big salary, but he only asked enough money to buy some new clothes and food for himself. The Son decided to be Dobby's friend, and Dobby was ready to give his life for the Boy who Lives.

Possibility

They are giving you a plastic fork but not for keeping it later. You use it once, and then you have to throw out to the garbage. You neither have to keep the paper- nor the plastic bag, there is just too much of them, so it's almost impossible to put all of them in to the garbage. You bought a no-name jeans, you wear it for a month, then you throw it out, because it frayed don't mention where (...). You bought a PC, but the day after Tomorrow a new game gonna be trendy, and your computer gonna be out of date, you have to buy a new one then. The manikins in the case, jewelry and clothes, the electronic tools are shouting to you from behind the cases that: throw away, throw away your old things, buy a new one, a cool one, BE TRENDY. Go with the flow! New phone every half a year, new observations: YOU MUST TRY IT, wow, that's freakin unbelievable, I don't know buddy, where have you been?! - let's try THIS one. C'mon you can't be that odd.

You have an unbelievable luxury home, with a huge park. You have the best boss EVER. A true friend, you can share everything with him. You are always keep in touch, often talk long hours during the night, sitting in the garden. You have a WONDERFUL husband/wife. You love your job, you feel like you are valuable and they are appreciating your work. Everything is super cool. Really. Everything is just PERFECT.

Then you meet someone guileful like a snake -You feel better not trusting him/her- and he/she whispers: All right, but ... Are you sure everything is THAT cool?